Going to Neptune
by Jayelwillow
Summary: Yukari Tanizaki is immature, barely manages to survive socially and sometimes acts like she's from another planet. Oh, and, for her vacation, she's going to Neptune!


"I'm goin' to Neptune!"

That line, of course, fell flat. Yukari Tanizaki smiled and handed over the exercise books, making sure her poor students didn't forget her during the summer vacation.

As Yukari left school, though, she heard a Kansai accent she knew all too well.

"How are ya goin' t'Neptune?"

Yukari looked at the vacant eyes of one of her favorite students.

"It was a joke, Osaka..." - Said Yukari, giggling.

Osaka shook her head.

There was _something_ about Osaka, Yukari knew; the girl seemed spacey and even a bit nuts, but wasn't dumb; in fact, her lateral thinking was among the best she'd ever seen - and she had seen quite a few.

"Ya weren't bein' sarcastic, or ya'd have acted rude. Ya weren't jokin', cuz it would make no sense and fall flat..." - Said Osaka - "So... Tell me, teacher. Please. I won't tell anyone."

Yukari looked into Osaka's eyes. She felt something new coming from the space case.

Osaka usually seemed to basically _float around_ reality, never quite touching it, never quite grasping it; her contact with the world seemed to always be dulled, as if an invisible barrier made of cotton stood between her and the world; likewise, the veil that separated her and a world of dreams and musings was paper-thin.

Yet, this time, Osaka was making a nearly super-human effort to grasp this reality; she wanted _more_ , and Yukari felt like Osaka would reach through that _barrier_ even if it fried her brain.

Yukari sighed.

"Osaka..." - She said - "Fine. Come with me."

Osaka nodded and followed Yukari to an alley. And all the way to a...

"A chemical toilet?" - Asked Osaka, still in her _grasp the reality_ mode.

"No." - Said Yukari, as she opened it with a key.

Revealing something that couldn't be more different from a toilet if it tried.

A huge gallery, with controllers in the middle and stairways that certainly led to other, even bigger and more wondrous, rooms was inside.

Osaka stepped in, looking around.

"This..." - Said Yukari - "Is a TARDIS..."

"Time and Relative Dimension In Space." - Said Osaka, smiling like a child that had finally seen her dreams match with reality.

"Heh. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that you figured out the meaning." - Said Yukari.

"And... You are an alien..." - Said Osaka - "You're really goin' to Neptune..."

Yukari's smile turned slightly manic, but lacking the usual _immature and childish_ quality for something much deeper, much older and much, _much_ more dangerous.

"You're invited." - She said.

"'Kay." - Said Osaka, still smiling, back to her usual self, except not really; her usual self was now fully at home and, moreover, fully _alert_.

Osaka closed the door and held on as the engine whirred.

# - # - # - # - # - # - # - # - # - #

 _ **An hour later, back in Tokyo**_

"Yo. Osaka! Whatcha doing here?" - Asked Tomo, looking at her friend walking out of an alley.

"Daydreamin' 'bout Yukari bein' an alien from the planet Gallifrey in the constellation of _Kasterborous and takin' me to Neptune in the year 7201..." - Said Osaka, smiling her usual vacant smile._

"Because of that joke? Wow. You _are_ a nut..." - Was Tomo's reply.

"Here." - Said Osaka, handing Tomo a keychain that produced a holographic image of the planet - "I brought souvenirs to everyone..."

That was enough for even Tomo to do a double-take, noticing the technology was _way_ too advanced.

"W-wait, WHAT?"

# - # - # - # - # - # - # - # - # - #

Inside the TARDIS, watching this exchange, Yukari facepalmed.

 _I thought Osaka still had some attention left in her. Guess I'll have to show the six of them..._ \- She thought, grimly.

# - # - # - # - # - # - # - # - # - #

 _ **Author's Notes:**_

Okay, it's basically a crack fic; I took a joke and ran with it all the way to Planet Gallifrey. I REGRET NOTHING! Or something.

Anyways, read and review. Who knows, I might keep this going if it's insane and successful enough!


End file.
